Expanding Your Family

I remember during the first months of our first year in medical school, we attended a panel that discussed relationships and how they are affected during this journey. One of the questions asked that night of the panel was . . . for those of us wanting to have children during medical school, when is the best time? I thought that was a very interesting question at the time. My husband and I had one child already less than a year old and planned to have another sometime prior to residency. So, what was the answer? Most recommended third year of medical school. Since then, we have expanded our family and I wanted to share with others out there my personal experiences on the matter!

We had heard from many that third year or the first year of clinical rotations was the perfect time to have a child. We took this recommendation to heart and we planned accordingly. Our second child arrived at the beginning of July, technically the beginning of the fourth year. My opinion (and I'm sure my husband will agree with me) . . . BAD TIMING!! Why? Between the third and fourth year, students are required to take the Step 2 exams. My husband took both the COMLEX and the USMLE. He scheduled these towards the end of my pregnancy, ensuring that they would be complete prior to having a newborn at home. Very good planning on his part. Unfortunately, I tend to have babies early! During the day he was gone for the USMLE, when I had absolutely no way of getting ahold of him, I began to have contractions! Thankfully, they slowed down and we were able to be together at the time our precious little one was born! In addition to the tests, this is the prime time to be doing elective rotations. We do not intend to stay in our current location for internship/residency. In fact, where my husband is doing his out rotations is thousands of miles away!! When our child was at the early age of 3 1/2 weeks, my husband left for a month for his first elective rotation. Did he have to? No! BUT . . . it will increase our chances hopefully in getting into our ultimate residency program, a more long-term decision . . . a sacrifice that we are willing to make at this time to save family time in the long run. Having a newborn at home with a preschooler, no family within thousands of miles, a limited support system in our current location, and no husband has been VERY difficult! My husband is planning on doing another elective rotation thousands of miles away. Am I nervous? No . . . simply because I am leaving and going to stay with family for the majority of the time! Two full months away from his kids, particularly his new one has also been very difficult on him.

So, my recommendation . . . if you are going to have children during medical school, third year is really the best time! Third year meaning between July and May AT THE LATEST of that year!! Things then begin to get crazy with tests, elective rotations elsewhere, and then residency interviews, sometimes scheduled last minute. Having a baby seems very possible the first two years, especially if you are attending a family-friendly school. Fourth year may even be a possibility before you have to move for residency and after your interviews are complete. In the end, do NOT have a child between June and November of your fourth year if at all possible!! I would not change anything if it meant I could not have our sweet little addition, but I would recommend and warn others that this is a busy and chaotic time. Do not add more stress at this time if you do not have too!